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Penny Red's - Detroit, Michigan

Urban Ranch is watery Hidden Valley. Yacht Ranch is Caesar’s spicy cousin who doesn’t know when to stop. Disappointing across the board.

RANCH REVIEWMICHIGAN BASEDNOPE

This was a tale of two ranches, and unfortunately... neither one has a happy ending.

Let’s start with the Urban Ranch. Sour smell. Tastes Sour. It’s giving straight-from-the-bottle energy, and not even a good bottle at that. My friend nailed it when they said it tastes like watered-down Hidden Valley. That’s exactly what it is: bland, thin, and barely passable as ranch. It's a classic case of store-bought sadness in a ramekin.

Then there’s the Yacht Ranch, which had me doing a double-take. It smells like Caesar dressing, starts with a horseradish slap to the face, and finishes with a tiny hint of sweet? I appreciate a bold ranch, but this one is out here having an identity crisis. It’s not flavorful in a fun way; it’s just confusing. If I wanted spicy Caesar with trust issues, I’d make it myself.

Now those little honey butter biscuits there - that’s another story. That is worth the trip!!



Food I ate with the ranch

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Disclaimer: The Dressing Room is not affiliated with any restaurant. All reviews are based on personal experiences and real opinions. While future partnerships may happen, honesty always comes first. If the ranch doesn’t hit, I’ll say so.